With their feelings bared on their fingers
by jellysunfish
Summary: And amid the rolling waves of deep blue, their rings glimmer a rosy red. WuYe Soulmate AU


"Don't feel too sad, Ye Xiu. I'll come back every holiday and visit. I promise."

"I'm not sad." The younger stubbornly says.

"You can't hide your feelings from me, Ye Xiu." He sticks out his right hand. On his ring finger, the shimmering band is a deep blue.

When confronted with the manifest form of his feelings, Ye Xiu quickly turns away. "Maybe I'm a bit sad," he begrudgingly admits, "You're going to be so far away after all."

Wu Xuefeng brings his little captain into his arms. He brushes his mouth along the younger's neck and ear. "I'm going to miss you too."

Ye Xiu nuzzles himself into Xuefeng's shirt. "Don't you dare forget about me, Ah-feng."

"How could I ever?"

And amid the rolling waves of deep blue, their rings glimmer a rosy red.

* * *

Xuefeng is lying in bed one night. He unfastens the chain around his neck to pull off his soulmate ring. His occupation doesn't allow him to wear rings during work hours. He rings his thumb against the edge and turns it over in his palm. The colors shimmer greenish-yellow with tinges of shale. Annoyance and loneliness. What could have his soulmate so worked up so early in the morning?

He brings the ring to his lips and whispers into it, "I love you, Ye Xiu."

He watches the elegant script of his handwriting scroll across the ring and disappear, to be transmitted across the oceans to his soulmate. The ring pulses and shifts to an embarrassed pink before fading into a loving red.

 _Love you too._

Now satisfied that his soulmate is in a much better mood, Wu Xuefeng is able to sleep peacefully.

* * *

He's driving to work one December morning when he feels his ring pulse from against his chest. He makes a silent plea for his soulmate to hold on while he finishes driving.

As soon as he's pulled into his parking space, he yanks the ring from where it hides underneath his shirt. The simple band is a blended mess of blues and greens, and Xuefeng studies it from his place in the driver's seat. Sadness, and grief, and betrayal, and loneliness, and _resignation_.

"What's wrong?" he mouths into the ring. He waits for a reply.

 _Miss you Ah-feng._ The messy writing scrolls by.

He knows that this isn't the real problem. It isn't like his Ye Xiu to feel so many emotions all at once, and it was concerning that he felt betrayed. It wouldn't be his Ye Xiu if he were direct about his feelings though, so instead he says, "It will be Christmas soon. I'll come back to visit you."

There's a hesitation between his words and Ye Xiu's response. _Really?_

He feels a sudden crush of shadowy gray guilt. He quickly smothers it, but knows Ye Xiu would not have missed it.

"I'm sorry. I'm going to try really hard this year, okay?"

The blues and greens gain a duckling yellow glow of hope, and as Wu Xuefeng tucks the ring back into his shirt, he prays that this year nothing urgent will come up.

* * *

It's been almost five years since he was last in Excellent Era. He checks his ring, once again snug on his ring finger. Daffodil yellow happiness, spring green excitement, denim blue worry.

He walks in through the door, marveling at how much things have changed and yet, how much they've stayed the same.

He whispers into his ring, "Ye Xiu. I'm here."

He runs into Tao Xuan in the lobby, all packed up to go home for the holidays.

"Brother Tao Xuan!"

He turns. "Oh, if isn't it Xuefeng? It's good to see you again." The boss of Excellent Era sticks his hand out.

Xuefeng grasps it firmly, then pulls him into an awkward bro hug. Tao Xuan stiffly receives it.

"It's been awhile since I last saw you." He says, carefully extricating himself from the hug. "Not since...?" Tao Xuan trails off.

"Almost five years... time really flies doesn't it?"

The boss of Excellent Era adjusts his scarf and pops a button on his jacket. "It sure does."

Xuefeng glances around, admiring the new screens and absentmindedly twisting his ring around his finger. Tao Xuan notes the nervous action.

"You didn't come to visit me though, did you?"

"Haha, sorry Brother Tao Xuan." He stands facing the inside of Excellent Era, toward the silver elevators leading to the other floors. "I'm waiting for Ye Qiu."

"Is that right? Well, I should be heading out. I have someone expecting me, you see."

Tao Xuan is about to turn to leave when something taps the both of their shoulders, causing them to both jump up into the air. "Boo."

"Ye Qiu! Don't scare us like that! Honestly, are you 25 or are you 12?" Wu Xuefeng is quick to nag his soulmate. "And how did you appear behind us? I was watching the elevators the whole time."

Ye Xiu meets eyes with Tao Xuan who is still hunched over, trying to catch his breath after that scare. "Mm, I was taking a walk."

"In those clothes? You need to dress warmer! You'll catch cold in weather like this!"

Ye Xiu takes his hand. It's still cold from the outdoors. Xuefeng makes a mental note to buy gloves. "Will you blame me if I say I was excited to see you again?"

Xuefeng sighs and then gives a loving smile. "Oh, you. Just you wait, I'm going to get my revenge by buying you the thickest, most expensive winter clothes ever."

Ye Xiu tugs at his hand and laughs, "Come on, let's goooo."

As he's dragged out the door, Xuefeng throws his head back and yells out to Tao Xuan, "Nice to see you again, brother Tao Xuan!"

* * *

Ye Xiu is a shy and clingy little kitten the rest of their holiday. The spend every waking moment together, and every sleeping moment too.

They work together to play the Glory Christmas event, using a side character that Ye Xiu is leveling in his free time in the new server. Xuefeng doesn't have an account from the Chinese tenth server, so he buys one a few levels below the front runners so they can play together. They meet little Mucheng and some of Ye Xiu's friends on the tenth server and it's almost like the old days, playing together with those two and helping them wreak havoc.

Soon enough though, the holiday is over and Xuefeng has to go back to continue his work.

He makes sure to drop off Ye Xiu by the entrance of Excellent Era on his way to the airport. He adjusts Ye Xiu's new winter coat around his thin frame and leaves a kiss on his cheek.

Ye Xiu squirms away from the affection. "Ngh," He complains.

Xuefeng laughs. "Love you too. Be good, okay?"

"When have I ever not been good?" The younger asks cheekily.

"Hmm, I wonder."

He brings Ye Xiu into one last hug and feels those delicate hands grasp the back of his coat as a head is pressed into his shoulder.

"Come back soon." He hears a whisper in his ear.

"En. I will."

He gets back into the cab and keeps watch out the back window until he can no longer see Ye Xiu. He brings his hand up intending to leave a kiss on his ring when he sees the colors.

Love. Sadness. _Guilt._

And his stomach drops.

* * *

He can't get it out of his mind. Guilt? What could it mean? What was Ye Xiu hiding that he would feel guilt upon saying goodbye?

It couldn't be that he was seeing another person right? It wasn't unheard of for soulmates to date other people. And he had been away for so long. What if Ye Xiu had found another person to comfort him while he was lonely and waiting?

He hardly gets any sleep, the thoughts and emotions swirling around in his head.

Eventually his alarm rings, reminding him that he has to go to work. He debates calling in sick, that's how bad his stomach roils from anxiety.

The ring on his finger pulses. He has yet to put it back on his chain.

 _Tell me what's wrong._

He's not quite sure what to say. Are you cheating on me? That seems rather accusing when he has absolutely no evidence that the feeling was even related to him. What are you hiding? Ye Xiu would probably just deny everything.

In the end, he is direct, so that Ye Xiu couldn't avoid his question.

"Why were you feeling guilty when you said goodbye?"

A pause. A flare of panic, and guilt, followed by resignation.

 _I was hoping you wouldn't catch that._

Another pause.

 _Do you have time for a call?_

His second alarm rings, telling him that it's time to leave for work. Instead, he texts his boss saying that he couldn't come in today.

"Yes."

He paces his room waiting for Ye Xiu's call and wishes that his soulmate would just cave in already and let him buy him a cellphone.

Finally his phone rings and he picks it up, hands shaking. "Ah-Xiu?"

"Ah-Feng."

"Please tell me," he pleads. Even if Ye Xiu has been cheating on him, he needs to know.

He hears a sigh on the other side of the phone. "It's kind of complicated. I don't know where to start."

"It's okay. Just please tell me everything. From the beginning."

"I guess it started soon after you left..."

* * *

"Ah-Feng, it's okay now," he says quietly, "At that time, I felt sad and betrayed and isolated, but the worst part was that I was expecting it, and couldn't do anything about it. I really, really missed you right then."

Ye Xiu is almost scared to know how his soulmate is feeling as he tells him about what happened. This whole time, Xuefeng has said nothing, but he feels his ring pulse steadily against his palm as Xuefeng's emotions shift and change. He spares a glance down.

Simmering reds and oranges. Puce green disgust. Sadness, worry, disbelief.

Ye Xiu flinches slightly watching the mess of emotions ebb and flow on his ring.

"I- I didn't want you to know because...! Excellent Era was important to us, and I didn't want to ruin our precious memories of it for you."

"Ah-Xiu..."

"Ah...Feng?"

"Knowing how you're feeling without knowing the why isn't enough. If you're suffering, I want to suffer with you. If you're lonely, then I want to comfort you. If you're facing injustice, I want to be angry for you, even if you've already accepted it."

"..."

"Please don't hide things for my sake. I only want you to be happy."

Ye Xiu feels his eyes tear and threaten to spill, but he refuses to let them fall. He's not sad, nor angry, nor happy, nor frustrated, just- just- just-! "I- I was _glad_ that you hadn't heard about it yet! Because then I could pretend that it never happened. So I felt guilty for not telling you..."

It all just spills out in one gasp of breath. "I like the life that I have right now, but I wish..."

He looks down at the ring again. He still sees the angry reds and oranges and the worried blues, but they are overshadowed by the deep reds of unconditional love and the hard grays of determination.

"Ye Xiu. This is partially my fault. Putting aside how long I've been away, I should have checked in with you more. I'm disgusted and ashamed at myself for not knowing. I may not have been able to prevent what happened, but I would have tried to do something instead of just slapping a temporary fix on your negative emotions. I _Love_ you, Ye Xiu _._ "

Ye Xiu doesn't like feeling this emotional. It's overwhelming. It's why he tries so hard to clamp down on his feelings. He can't parse out one feeling from another, so he clings to the one emotion he can identify, his love for one Wu Xuefeng. "Love you too."

And suddenly he feels the tears slide down his face, and he rubs his eyes furiously. "Haha, why am I crying?"

He hears a shaky chuckle on the other end of the phone. "Heh! Now you've got me crying too. We're both idiots, aren't we?"

* * *

"So what should we do now?" Xuefeng asks.

"Go back to our respective lives and pretend that we didn't just break down over the phone?"

"Very funny." As much as they would both like to forget the awkward and emotional baring of their souls, he didn't want things to just go back to the way they were. Something needed to change. "I'm buying you a phone. Promise that you'll call me anytime you're feeling sad or lonely or hurt. And if you call me, I'll throw down anything I'm holding to answer you, okay? Even if it's somebody's intestines."

"...Please don't answer me while you're in the operating room."

"Will you promise to call?"

"Only if you promise to do the same."

"I will. And no more secrets, okay?"

"...I guess I should tell you that that side account isn't really a side account and that I hope to get back into the alliance with Lord Grim."

Xuefeng is silent for beat and then bursts into laughter. "That's my Ye Xiu."

When they finally hang up the phone, Xuefeng is tired and exhausted. He's glad that he took an extra day off and he is intensely relieved to know that Ye Xiu isn't cheating on him, even though he still has mixed feelings trying to accept the fact that Excellent Era, that _Brother Tao Xuan_ , betrayed his love and trust. He climbs back into bed, intending to catch up on the hours of sleep he missed.

He's about to fall asleep when he feels his ring pulse.

 _Love you, Xuefeng._

He smiles.

"Love you too."

* * *

Extra

"I'm going to marry you one day."

Ye Xiu sleepily snuggles into his chest. "Why bother? We already have rings proving we belong to each other. What else can a marriage give us?"

"... A fancy certificate and tax benefits?"

"Mm... sounds good. I'm down." He yawns and Xuefeng wraps his arms around his sleepy soulmate. Xuefeng kisses his Ye Xiu on the ear and clasps their hands together. Their rings glow rosy red and pale yellow in love and contentment.


End file.
